Ochanya and the fear of being misunderstood: Silence that empowers abusers

Ochanya — her name still echoes as a painful reminder of how silence can destroy lives. Many victims of abuse live this same reality every day, silenced not because they cannot speak, but because they fear being misunderstood and judged before they’re even heard.

I love to express myself, but sometimes the fear of being misunderstood keeps me silent. I know I’m not alone in these shoes. Some people eventually overcome it later in life, but many of us never do.

We have so much to say, yet we lack the right words to express it. And when the words finally come, our voices betray us — weighed down by the fear of already being condemned.

This silence becomes the abuser’s strength. They know their victims may never find their voice.

If only society would learn to pay attention to the silent cries for help — to notice that subtle shift in behavior, that quiet change in demeanor, and to listen before judging.

Maybe then, we could save the likes of Ochanya before it’s too late.

A little compassion can truly do the magic.

Adeniyi Zion writes from Abuja.